


Touch

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes he couldn’t get enough and sometimes he thought he would die if someone touched him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Blaine was neglected and abused as a child due to homophobic awful parents. Because of this, he takes all form of contact pretty seriously and associates emotion with contact a lot. So when he’s happy, he’s cuddly. He wants to be touched so much he aches, but when he’s upset or sad he can’t stand being touched at all, almost. Kurt shows emotion through touch and one day Blaine is really upset and Kurt tries to comfort him but the contact makes things worse

Even after they christened most of the rooms, Blaine couldn’t stop touching his fiancé. 

New York had been the dream for so long and finally he was here. They had the loft to themselves and were curled up in bed, every part of their bodies pressed up against each other. Blaine couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy. 

Finally he was with his fiancé. 

Finally he was in New York.

Finally he was away from the hell he had called home. 

With all the angry shouts and painful touches he couldn’t think of anything more calming than Kurt’s gentle hands. He felt loved and worshiped in Kurt’s arms; warm in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. Sometimes it felt like he could burst from the inside out from happiness. 

He could be happy, he could be touched without pain, and he could be loved. 

Could anything be better?

“I love you so much,” he sighed and Kurt smiled down at him, holding him tighter. 

“I love you too.”

—

Of course no good thing can last forever.

Blaine picked up on Kurt’s feelings and a cold feeling of unease settled in his stomach. He could tell Kurt was unhappy and his heart sank when he saw the guys at NYADA flirting with his fiancé, even more so when his fiancé flirted back a little. 

How could Kurt want him?

He was a broken, fat, untalented child compared to them. 

Then Kurt found the porn. Honestly, Blaine just wanted to remind himself of happier times. He wanted to be touched, even if it was just by himself, and pretend that he was happy for a moment. It only left him feeling sick and dirty. 

Everything snapped when Kurt turned hurt, betrayed eyes to him. They argued for a bit, Blaine wrapping arms around himself defensively. He hated fighting with Kurt. He had promised himself that he would never be like his parents; he would never raise his voice against the person he loved. 

Kurt’s eyes widened in understanding as Blaine choked through his confession of feeling unloved. There was no more anger in his eyes but everything in Blaine felt like it was wound too tight. He was waiting for a slap or punch, his mind reverting back to a fight or flight mode that he had lived in for so long.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. 

“Don’t!” Blaine snapped, scrambling backwards away from his fiancé. “Seriously don’t.”

Kurt pulled his hands back into his chest, looking hurt. “Blaine-“

“I just really don’t want to be touched right now,” his nerves were screaming and Blaine stepped back again, feeling stifled. 

Kurt stared at him before something broke in his eyes. “I won’t ever hurt you Blaine. Fighting is normal in couples but I will never, ever hurt you.”

Blaine stared at his feet, throat feeling tight. “Can I sleep on the couch tonight?”

“You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” Kurt grabbed some blankets out of the closet as Blaine watched. “It’ll be okay.”

When he lay in bed that night Blaine sobbed, biting on his hand to avoid making noise. He shrunk down when Santana walked in and cackled at the sight of Kurt on the couch. He hated this part of him. He wished he could be comforted by his fiancé but he felt like he was going to shrivel and die if he was touched. 

He felt broken. He felt like those years of living in fear had robbed him of living the rest of his life in happiness. 

By the next morning, his head ached and his eyes were dry and sore, but he crept out into the living room. Kurt looked so beautiful curled up on the couch, the morning light shining over him. Quietly, he sat on the floor next to him and gently took his hand, ignoring the urge to pull back. 

“Hey,” his voice was low and scratchy with sleep and Blaine smiled. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Kurt smiled at him and sat up, wincing at the pain in his back. “I wish every moment together we could be happy. You deserve nothing but happiness after what you went through.” 

“It’s not realistic,” Blaine shrugged. 

“If not being touched is going to help you then that’s what we’ll do,” Kurt squeezed his hand. “You just need to tell me what’s going on.”

Blaine nodded, feeling tears build up in his eyes again. Their relationship wasn’t like the one he had with his parents. He was never scared of Kurt or thought that he could hurt him. It would take time but maybe one day he could put his past behind him.


End file.
